What Is Self Compassion?

This is the ability to have kinship with oneself in the face of difficult circumstances, or everyday life. This is important because it helps us be more resilient in the face of adversity. Beating ourselves up has the opposite effect in the long term. Developing a solid relationship yourself and having integrity is key.

Things That Negatively Impact Self Love

1. Comparison

When we start comparing ourselves to others, we tend to degrade our value. It usually stems from not feeling enough. When you compare yourself, you negate yourself.

2. Believing self love is selfish

Self love is not selfish, it’s self honoring, and allows you to make self honoring choices. It’s not about arrogance, or thinking your better than, that’s ego. It’s about the qualities that allow you to live your best life, and that will out pour to the rest of the world.

3. Going against your inner guidance

Our inner guidance is always available, even know sometimes there’s static on the line. We inherently know what works for us. When were told to go against that, and be someone were not, that will rapidly diminish our self love.

How To Develop Self Compassion

1. Build self trust

Trusting yourself in all situations will allow you to move forward. When we don’t trust ourselves for what ever reason (usually past trauma), we can’t fully heal. Putting ourselves in challenging situations and making it through them will help build self trust. Correcting past mistakes and moving on.

2. Positive self talk

Having positive self talk asks the question, “is our inner dialogue supporting us, or hurting us?” Many us talk to our selves very poorly do to conditioning. If we make a mistake, we beat ourselves up, instead of learning. In a strange way, we believe that is how we learn, and is a protective mechanism. The reality is that we can learn much more efficiently through compassion. In this incredible research, it shows that study participants who practiced self compassion after a mistake experienced much more motivation to improve than those who didn’t do the intervention. Self compassion can also dramatically improve our overall wellbeing.

3. Realizing your innate value

This speaks to knowing that we are valuable just for being us. We don’t need anything to make us worthy, we already are. The thing with looking outside of us for a sense of worth, is that it will never be enough. No thing, person, or place. Also, recognizing what were good at. Acknowledging our gifts and working on them is key.

4. Positive self regard

This is understanding that your going to make mistakes and it’s okay. Giving yourself a break because you deserve it. Holding yourself in such a way that allows healing to take place. This can not come from a place of degradation. Real strength comes from being able to hold yourself up during hard times.

5. Healer heal thyself

This is the understanding that it is our duty to heal ourselves. This is because we carry our energy everywhere we go. Where ever we go, there we are. Is your energy healing or depleting? It will show in the way you interact with people and in day to day life. When we heal ourselves, we unconsciously become an invitation for others to do the same.

6. Become the invitation

Becoming the invitation is first healing from within and becoming a light. Then out pouring that light to the world as a model to do the same. As your light shines, you invite others to do the same. Becoming the one who creates change will then create a ripple affect.