How our Beliefs Create our Reality

A belief is created with through events, emotions, and meanings. Some beliefs that we have are deep rooted from childhood and may not be serving us. Some of them may be empowering, but ultimately, we choose what we believe. It’s up to us to shift disempowering beliefs and rewrite our story. Our beliefs shape our reality because they are the foundation of our thoughts and habits. To shift a belief, we first have to become aware that it exists. Once we know it exists, we can see of it’s serving us or not, then we simply decide to choose to believe in something else. Beliefs shift through the process of reevaluation.

What is Self Confidence?

Self confidence is the belief and value in who you are as a person. Also, a belief that you can handle any circumstance. Self confidence can mean different things to different people, but there are some limiting beliefs around it. Some people mistake confidence for arrogance, or they may belief that you have to be born confident. Real confidence is neither of those things. Confidence comes from being competent, and is a result of what you do. Therefor, confidence can be built like a muscle, and can be trained.

How to Train Confidence

1. Align your actions with your words

Keeping the promises we make to ourselves is very important. Our mind keeps a track record of everything we say and do. If we consistently don’t do what we say were going to do, were going to stop believing in ourselves. This goes for the little things like waking up on time, or the big things like keeping a promise to a friend.

2. Rewrite your story

Many of us have gone through some traumatic experience at some point in our lives. If we do not heal these things, they stay with us. We will carry around the corresponding thoughts and behaviors of that experience with us today. This can have a negative impact on our lives without us even realizing it because it’s in our subconscious mind. The pen is in our hands, and we have the capability of healing and rewriting our story.

3. Positive self talk

Having positive self talk asks the question, “is our inner dialogue supporting us, or hurting us?” Many us talk to our selves very poorly do to conditioning. If we make a mistake, we beat ourselves up, instead of learning. In a strange way, we believe that is how we learn, and is a protective mechanism. The reality is that we can learn much more efficiently through compassion. In this incredible research, it shows that study participants who practiced self compassion after a mistake experienced much more motivation to improve than those who didn’t do the intervention. Self compassion can also dramatically improve our overall wellbeing.

4. Empowering community

Having people around you that uplift you is vital for confidence. It’s not that people can make you feel a certain way, it’s that they set the conditions for it to be easier. When the people around you accept you for who you are, you are not worried about trying to be something your not. Also, if you think there’s no one around you that will be that, that may be the case, but I would encourage you to shift your mindset. If you believe that it’s possible that there could be someone like that exists around you, and believe there is many empowering people around the world, your more likely to come in contact with them.

5. Set boundaries

Having boundaries is not selfish, it’s self honoring. When you have boundaries, you say what you will and won’t accept in your life. Boundaries are most notably set in relationships. If one of your friends keeps giving you unwarranted advice, it’s your responsibility to let them know, and for them to no longer do it. The other person often doesn’t know what their doing is wrong, which is why we have to communicate. You must be firm in your boundaries, which goes back to number one, or people are not going to take you seriously. If someone does not comply, then you need to decide whether or not you need to adjust the relationship. It’s important to not that the other person may not always like the boundary, but if it’s authentic, then it will ultimately be better for both people in the long term.

6. Serve others

Being of service can improve confidence because uplifting another can in a way uplift yourself. I believe it’s important to want to help people soley for the purpose of helping them, and not trying to get anything in return. When you truly help someone, it’s going to come back to you in some type of way. It may not even come back in the same fashion, but life supports that which supports life. This could be something small like a kind jester, or helping many people in your line of work. Having compassion for someone is always helpful. It says I understand how you feel, how can I serve?