What is Self Love?

Self love is very multifaceted. It can be a combination of self compassion, admiration, devotion, support, and care. Having it, or not having it will effect everything in your for better or worse. It will influence the standards you have, what you let influence you, how you take care of yourself, the choices you make, and how you deal with challenges.

Oxytocin, the Love Hormone

Oxytocin is the hormone that is responsible for the feeling of love, better relationships, and more confidence. This hormone is what brings people into the world, and starts the birthing process. This hormone can be boosted naturally by sincerely listening, being trusted, Laughter, touch, and sex.

Things That Negatively Impact Self Love

1. Comparison

When we start comparing ourselves to others, we tend to degrade our value. It usually stems from not feeling enough. When you compare yourself, you negate yourself.

2. Believing self love is selfish

Self love is not selfish, it’s self honoring, and allows you to make self honoring choices. It’s not about arrogance, or thinking your better than, that’s ego. It’s about the qualities that allow you to live your best life, and that will out pour to the rest of the world.

3. Going against your inner guidance

Our inner guidance is always available, even know sometimes there’s static on the line. We inherently know what works for us. When were told to go against that, and be someone were not, that will rapidly diminish our self love.

Things That Add to Self Love

1. Realizing your innate value

This speaks to knowing that we are valuable just for being us. We don’t need anything to make us worthy, we already are. The thing with looking outside of us for a sense of worth, is that it will never be enough. No thing, person, or place. Also, recognizing what were good at. Acknowledging our gifts and working on them is key.

2. Decide what you want

This is about being honest with yourself about what you really want. Believing that you are worthy of what you want, and not settling for less. Give yourself permission to want what you really want. You don’t have to take the life that you were told is yours, you get to create your own.

3. Build self trust

Trusting yourself in all situations will allow you to move forward. When we don’t trust ourselves for what ever reason (usually past trauma), we can’t fully heal. Putting ourselves in challenging situations and making it through them will help build self trust. Correcting past mistakes and moving on.

4. Self care

This piece is critical. How do we expect to feel and show up our best if were not taking care of ourselves. Getting enough rest, proper nutrition, movement, and stress management are all related to self care. You must make for time for this. Believe it or not, people don’t want the warn down, tired version of you, they want the best you. In order to show up for others, you must first show up for yourself.

5. Know thyself

Self awareness is the first step to change. Knowing what your values, standards, and belief systems are necessary for creating the life that you want. A lot of times were just running on auto pilot and operating out of old programs that aren’t even ours. Replacing old beliefs and healing any unresolved issue will clear out energy and make room for the new.